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I have never been large-chested – I have always been of the smaller breasted variety.  A boob job was out of the question for me so I just thanked the Lord for giving me at least a little boobage and went on with my life.

ann1

When I got pregnant for Willow, I remember thinking, HOLY BIKINI STUFFERS!  The girls literally exploded and I finally realized what the hype was around the big guns.  I was in head lamp heaven. (See pic in pink shirt for proof, this is when I was 18 weeks pregnant…. GINORMO-BOOBS for me!)

(Yes, I am purposely trying to use every breast metaphor and nickname possible.)

I was overflowing out of my regular bras and even the nursing bras I purchased early on got snug around the nine month mark.  I remember stretching shirts out like nobody’s business and I know I walked around like I was Pamela Anderson during the last few months of pregnancy.  It just felt awesome to have such a curvaceous top shelf.

After my daughter was born, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed.  I just had no idea what engorgement was and what it was about to do to my boobs.  I remember when my milk came in being in AGONY.  It hurt so terribly that I tried everything in the book to reduce the engorgement and just have normal boobs again (oh hindsight, you really are 20/20).

In case you’re wondering what engorgement looks like during breastfeeding, I’ve got a photo… and a video if you prefer that!

ann2

After weaning Willow from breastfeeding at 26-months, I suffered through a short period of engorgement where my boobs re-exploded.  I was smarter now though and I knew to send my husband out on a grocery store cabbage run.  After he returned, I applied the cabbage leaves and the next day the engorgement was gone.  And so were my boobs.  No seriously.  They were gone (maybe they got soaked up into the cabbage leaves?)

ann3Since weaning her a few months ago, I feel like my breasts are now caving inward.  I don’t think you can really have concave breasts but mine are trying super hard.  I hate that my body parts are over-achievers.  They should just settle down and leave that bit to me.  It’s like they were in a contest to win the largest boobs and now that they’ve achieved that goal, they are now contesting to win smallest boobs of life.  Microscopic even.

It’s not only the breast size that changed… my boobs are now like… gravity’ed.  Once the mass inside went away, they fell limply.  It’s kind of like they are saying, “WE ARE DONE… YOU TORTURED US LONG ENOUGH” and they literally gave up.  It would be amazeballs if they made a breast pump (not that kind of breast pump, I have a Medela thank you very much) but one that could re-inflate them.

I won’t even tell you all what happens when I lay flat on my back.  Well, I guess I just did… let’s just say that it ain’t pretty and I do NOT feel feminine in the least.

So yes… I’ve enjoyed the breastfeeding experience but sort of wish that weaning Willow didn’t mean saying goodbye to my breasts.  It would have been nice to keep a little bit of the heft in my hooters but alas, it’s gone.

Anyone else experience the post-weaning breast annihilation or am I completely, utterly and forever alone in this?

P.S. – Because I know SOMEONE will say it, I am not saying that there is anything wrong with small bewbs.  I have lived with them my entire life.  I love small breasts as they are easy to carry around, don’t get in the way and you can wear them with a wide variety of clothing and not have to worry about ‘em.  I am simply mourning my giant-sized boobs that I had for a very short time in my life. Mmkay?

Join the conversation! 33 Comments

  1. I know how you feel 100%, while I have had semi large boobs my entire life, after breastfeeding 2 babies back to back, they seemed to have deflated now. It’s really depressing to look at them without a nice bra on. It’s not even sagging that’s the issue (which is a tiny bit of it as I’m 30 now so it’s bound to happen anyways) But they defiantly just.. feel like the oomph was pulled out of them so to speak.

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  2. I’ve always been bigger chested so I still have my boobs but they hang about 4 inches lower. Which is all “whoa”. Too low. Luckily a good bra helps, but when I’m nekkid… forgetaboutit! So I half-relate to you?

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  3. This happened to me too!!!! I’ve been doing push-ups since I weaned last November. They’re slightly better, just slightly. I wear bras all the time (except in the shower , of course) . I intend to keep doing the push-ups. Something has to work!!!!

    PS I didn’t know about the cabbage works for breast engorgement. Thanks for sharing.

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    • Ooooo, push-ups eh? Maybe I’ll have to try that!

      And yes, cabbage leaves for engorgement works really well BUT read up on it if breastfeeding a new baby because it can sometimes work too well (clearly… in my case it evaporated my boobs altogether).

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  4. Actually breastfeeding isn’t what ruins your boobs lol. It’s pregnancy. Breastfeeding just lets you enjoy the big boobs longer lol.

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  5. It ruined my boobs too and now I wear bras that add 1-2 cup sizes I was always a C or D and now I am no where close to that sadly. My Boobs are gone… I always had big boobs and after three kids THEY ARE GONE….. and THEY are never coming back… :( So Erin three options – Get a boob job… gain lots of weight with the hope the weight goes to your boobs or hit up a bra store and you will be surprised what you can get that can take care of the problem. Like I did it :)

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  6. Hey Erin,

    Well I have small boobies and I’ve experienced the same thing…lol and about to again because I’m 15 weeks pregnant with baby#3…lol It’s like well HELLLOOOO BOOBIES good to have you back…haha

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  7. Hey Erin,

    I went from being a 34C to being the smallest size out there! (32A) I know how you feel. To make the matters worse most of the time I go in to the store they tell me they don’t carry that small and I will have to order them!

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    • That’s almost exactly what happened to me! I don’t even know what size I am… I’m still wearing my old bras in the hopes that it encourages the girls to live up to my expectations of them ;)

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  8. Hey Erin, I am now a member of the “little-itty-bitty-titty-committee”…i always had pretty large breasts for my petite body (36c). After having my three kids I look like an old expired/shriveled price of fruit…(literally). My boobs are still “big” but now they look more like socks filled with sand hanging on a barn door. Not fun. And when you lay out your back- Kay-I’m not even going there. I never thought I’d be able to tuck my breaststroke under my arm pits. Boob job in the future?. I think so…gawd…

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  9. The same thing happened to me I was actually quite depressed for awhile. I didn’t feel like a women anymore. I wouldn’t let my husband see me without a shirt on. I went from a b cup to a AA I can’t even buy my bras from a regular store I have to go to a specialty store so no more pretty bras just the basics. I’m still dealing with it.

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    • *hugs* I have my days where I laugh it off (like in this post) and then I have my days where I am sad about it… I just try to think about what I got out of it and that helps sometimes.

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  10. Okay, I’m scared now. I went from an enthusiastic A cup before my first, to a C cup while nursing, down to a B after weaning, then back to a C/D while nursing number two. I’m still nursing number two and 25 weeks along with number three, and really don’t want to buy bigger nursing bras. Please tell me that they aren’t going to completely disappear when I get off the breast feeding train? Please?

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    • lol, apparently other people in here didn’t experience that (and from accounts on Twitter) but my dear, if my experience becomes your experience, don’t expect much lol ;)

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  11. I agree with the others, it’s not the breastfeeding it’s pregnancy in general that deflates boobs. It’s just all part of life of a woman and mother. You are beautiful, but I do relate to mourning what you had for a time.

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    • Thanks Stephanie for the wonderful compliment! I am definitely missing the big bazongas but at the same time, totally know that being a mother and a woman means that these changes are normal and expected. :) My grandmother told me the other day that it only gets worse ;)

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  12. Um. Boobs!

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  13. I am currently on my 10th month of breastfeeding and recently noticed that ‘deflated’ breast appearance you are talking about…. and I’m still breastfeeding! So, I imagine I will totally feel the same way when I wean, hopefully also around 24 mths. I feel that as women/mothers we inherently lose confidence in our self-image when we enter mother-hood and have less time to fix ourselves up from time to time. But, I also feel that it is SO important to remember the benefits of breastfeeding. Not only do we give our babies the best nutrition possible (and the cheapest and most convenient), but studies also show that there may be a link between breastfeeding for prolonged periods (longer than 6 months) and a decrease in rates of breast cancer in pre-menopausal women.
    As women we may end up with deflated or concave breasts, but we also get to endure (and I say endure in a positive manner) pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood- experiences not comparable to any other:)
    Also, thank-you for sharing your experience and the fact that you breast fed for 26 months! You don’t hear of many women continuing past 6 months these days… and I’m a huge breast feeding advocate and think it’s important for women to see the variations of ‘normal’ when it comes to pregnancy, birth and parenting choices:)

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    • YES! Deflated breasts is exactly what I should have said because that’s what they are. Deflated.

      You want to know what is really funny? Pre-pregnancy I remember saying, “I’ll never breastfeed… I want to keep my boobs!” and looking back, I can’t believe how shallow that was. I’m so glad I breastfed Willow as long as I did and I totally don’t mind that my boobs took a beating ;) haha

      I love that you advocate bf’ing as well :) xo

      Reply
  14. I enjoyed your humorous take on how things have ‘shifted’ since breast feeding your daughter! I plan on breast feeding and all my friends have warned me how much your body changes afterwards… This should be interesting!
    Em

    Also it was nice to meet you & Crystal at the ford event last week, your blog is great resource :)

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    • Em, it was so nice to meet you too! I can’t believe how much my body has changed… I was at the hospital the other night visiting my grandmother with my sister who doesn’t have children yet and she asked about body changes after childbirth. My grandmother and I both used a one-word sentiment: unrecognizable. haha

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  15. To all of you brave, BRAVE souls who countlessly sacrifice your ta-ta’s for the sake of your bebe’s…I salute you. I am not a mommy, but for some reason I find myself reading these OVM blog posts almost as a “crash course in parenting” should the day ever come where I too will be forced to trade in my perky/smallish “lemons” (as my husband calls them) for some deflated balloons. The thought does not excite me. Not one bit. I really commend you all for selflessly giving up your b-card (B for BOOBIES) and think that you all deserve some sort of lifetime achievement award. I hope that you all continue to use humour as a way to make light of such a dark and dreary topic…I was actually laughing out loud reading some of the comments. I look forward to possibly sharing my boob blunders with you all in the future. <3

    Reply
  16. [...] your stance is on plastic surgery, hear me out.  Before I had Willow and breastfeeding / pregnancy annihilated my boobs, I was the one saying, “I’ll never get plastic surgery!  A body is beautiful in [...]

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About Erin

My name is Erin. I started an online digital marketing agency when I was 21 and have been playing in the virtual world since then. I've been with my husband, Steve, since May of 1999 and together we have one beautiful daughter named Willow. We live in Ottawa.

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On Being Beautiful

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